I spent 2014 in an acute state of fear. Yeah, I know that seems hyperbolic, but I was quite terrified. The chronic pain I had been experiencing from the neuropathy of fibromyalgia had levelled up to a state where it felt like someone had injected several areas of my body with burning hot, vibrating curling … Continue reading
Category Archives: internalized ableism
Internalised Ableism, Week 9: The Little Boy Who Internalised Ableism
Editor’s note: This is K.W. Ramsey’s debut post with the Spoonie Authors Network. Welcome to the family! Until a couple years ago, I’d never heard the word ableism, never mind examining how I might have internalized it in myself. You see, I was born in the ’70s, when the idea of being disabled was anathema, … Continue reading
Internalised Ableism, Week 8: Ableist in My Mind
So, today, I decided enough was enough—I was doing the dishes. We have a dishwasher, so you would think it would be a breeze. Unfortunately, my particular injury makes bending painful, especially that halfway bend to load something above floor level. Then, in my infinite wisdom, I decided not to stop part-way through for a … Continue reading
Internalized Ableism, Week 7: I’m Not Disabled
Most of my health problems have been with me since childhood. I was diagnosed with a learning disability at eight years old. I acquired insomnia, anxiety, depression, and PTSD in my prepubescent years. I developed a repetitive strain injury at fifteen. Yet it was not until last year that I really felt comfortable claiming the … Continue reading
Internalised Ableism, Week 6: One Habit of a Highly Defective Person Who Isn’t Defective
One of the more insidious forms of internalized ableism is when we look at others and beat ourselves up for not being able to do what they are doing. What makes it particularly insidious is that it is easy to miss that we are engaging in internalized ableism. What makes it so insidious is that … Continue reading
Internalised Ableism, Week 5: Not Disabled Enough
I have an issue with appearing weak. This all started when I was born with spastic cerebral palsy. I was raised to believe that I would have to learn to do things for myself. I was raised not to be a quitter and to move forward, despite the pain that I might be in. It … Continue reading
Internalized Ableism, Week 4: Solution to Being a Terrible Patient, or, How I Learned It’s Okay to Need Help
I had surgery recently on my foot to remove a bone chip and arthritis bone spurs. The pain in my foot wasn’t terrible but it had changed my gait, adding to the workload in my lower spine and making one hip pop out of joint daily. I have arthritis and degenerative disc disease, so I … Continue reading
Internalized Ableism, Week 3: All Better Now
I feel better these days. I’ve done and am doing a lot of things for myself: I’ve moved to a position with less stress and fewer hours at work; I’m seeing a lot of doctors; I’m finally on the right meds after years of trial and error; and, I’m eating better. My good mental health … Continue reading
Internalized Ableism, Week 2: DIY
Editor’s note: This is Pat Flewwelling’s first post with the Spoonie Authors Network. Welcome, Pat! Grampa used to park his car umpteen kilometers away from work and then bike the rest of the way. By then, his hip was about 75% disintegrated, and he used a cane. In his off-hours, he worked for Gideons and … Continue reading