Super Spoonie Mom. Yeah, that’s me. I have chronic pain and a fatigue that has never gone away. I’m also the mother of a two-year-old who, I swear, is nuclear powered.
Most kids, when they have run around for three hours, crash and sleep. NOT THIS CHILD. Nope. She keeps going. If I could only channel some of that energy to myself, I’d be ahead of the game.
Now, combine being a spoonie and a mom with the fact that I’m an author. I attempt to write daily. Guess how often that happens? I was lucky that my husband had taken our daughter for the most part of a day last month, so I could submit my first novel to a local small press. Because if it were up to her (and her partner in crime, my red-point Siamese) I’d not get anything done.
I’ve had fellow spoonies suggest I try dictation software. That might work for other folks, but as I’m constantly talking to my daughter, I can only imagine my work would be littered with things that would make my poor editors die laughing or rip their hair out. Maybe both.*
I’m always learning my new limits. I’m also trying to deal with an immense amount of guilt for being a spoonie and a mom. I want to be there, as physically active as I once was, but my body continually gets in the way of my brain. Being a mom is Guilt Central in this internet age, with all the mommy blogs and groups out there. However, I feel it most when I want to be climbing the play structure with my girl and am forced to sit on the sidelines watching her, because my body has issues with lifting my arms above shoulder level for any length of time.
Being a spoonie mom has taught me that I have to adapt and adapt quickly. Having a nuclear-powered toddler means most of my work gets done after she goes to bed, and even then, I often run out of spoons from trying to manage the house during the day.
I know some of this sounds rather like complaining. It’s not. It’s all about adapting. Every day she learns something, and I too, learn something. Some days it’s frustration, some days it’s elation.
This applies to my writing as well. I’ve learned that I can’t compare myself to anyone else—even if they have a similar style to me. I have a different process. I’ve found that I need to set multiple small goals and work towards them. Also, to take breaks (and I probably complain as much as my young one does about that) so I can put a problem into perspective. The only person that I can compete with is myself.
Now if you’ll excuse me, there has been a very suspicious silence that I have to go investigate.
* As one of Amy’s editors, I can say die laughing at.
Amy M. Young is the author of the upcoming novel, A Desert Song. She lives in the National Capital Region with her husband, her daughter, and a bunch of fur babies. She primarily writes rock fiction and her work can be currently found on her website. Amy is also the designer of the two-spoon logo for this blog!